The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
