so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
a search helicopter?!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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