youre lurking in front of me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
