I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dignity is for republicans.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
