I have demons in me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
