I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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