the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
