we need to drink 2009 down the drain
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
