I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
