Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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