Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Less talking, more tequila
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
