Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
