tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
