I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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