If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
