new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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