Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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