Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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