Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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