I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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