I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
