So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize