I only kidnapped one of them. chill
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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