I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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