Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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