I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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