No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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