if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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