You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
