I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
