I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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