mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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