Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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