PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
