Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
