you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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