I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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