I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She announced her abortion via fbk
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
