went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
