Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
