i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
