it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
