It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
