$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dick very happy bro
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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