i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize