Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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