WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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