Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
