Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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