Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
