Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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