i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Found the puke drawer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
