I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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