I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
