Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think my fart just growled at me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Randomize
