She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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