I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
