She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
