You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Randomize
