sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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