sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
