Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
