Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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