I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
